Pignanelli & Webb: Happy Memorial Day weekend. This is the unofficial start of summer and a break from the grind when our leaders stop to think about their biggest challenges and how to solve them. Now Utah politicians and other leaders have access to a new tool to help them succeed: ChatGPT, a form of artificial intelligence.
What questions would our civic leaders ask at ChatGPT? We relay our best guesses about the wisdom our leaders might seek from the AI oracle. We are still working on hacking the answers.
Gov. Spencer Cox: “How can I properly say what I really think — and what most people believe — about right-wing extremists, President Joseph Biden and Congress? Is there any way to communicate my extreme disgust with them without being rude and offensive?”
Utah Democratic Central Committee: “How do we campaign against the governor who has had the most effective prayer results since seagulls responded to similar pleas in 1848 and ate all those crickets?”
Utah Republican Central Committee members: “How can we be ourselves and continue to act crazy, nasty and clueless and maintain our hold on Utah government?”
Sen. Mitt Romney: “How can I properly and successfully promote McKay Coppins’ new biography of me, ‘Romney: A Reckoning,’ while I’m a lame-duck senator or the bogeyman of Donald Trump and the far right?”
Senator Mike Lee: “How many times can I publicly say, ‘I told you so,’ about the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court and the abuse of its database, without sounding too obnoxious?”
President Joe Biden: “How do I get my communications staff to write scripts and talking points that convey my youthful perspective and vigor as I read them slowly?”
Former President Donald Trump: “How can I continue to belittle and mock Ron DeSanctimonious without voters realizing I’m afraid of him?”
Presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis: “How can I confirm to voters that Trump is a lecherous, lying, selfish old man who lives in the past without offending his base?”
Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall: “How can I appropriately, pleasantly, but consistently refer to the age of my opponent during this campaign? Also, how can I make sure that a Major League team Is baseball in town in November?
Mayoral candidate Rocky Anderson: “What’s the best way to cover city streets with my lawn signs and label it urban beautification?”
Congressman Blake Moore: “What are the alternatives to national parks that visitors can enjoy while visiting our state, in the event of a government shutdown?”
Department of Natural Resources Director Joel Ferry: “In less than a year as executive director, Utah went from record drought to record snowfall and flooding. Remind me again why I left the Legislature to this madness.”
Congressman Chris Stewart: “How do we get the supporters out of the FBI and rebuild the agency?”
House Speaker Brad Wilson: “I can accomplish in six hours in the state legislature what would take six years in Congress. Should I think twice about running for the United States Senate?”
Utah Jazz CEO Danny Ainge: “How do we meet expectations to win, but still rebuild the team?”
Senate President Stewart Adams: “Are there more ‘best in nation’ awards that Utah hasn’t won? Should we start competing globally or galactically for honors?”
Congressman John Curtis: “How many more weird sock designs can I wear before I face personality disorder charges?”
Congressman Burgess Owens: “How can the country apply NFL offensive and defensive strategies to our various domestic and foreign policy disputes?”
Lt. Gov. Deidre Henderson: “How can I keep tennis elbow from waving in so many local parades over the next four months?”
Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson: “As the state’s top Democrat, how can I defend my party’s agenda in a red state without pulling my hair out?”
Utah Democratic Party Chairwoman Diane Lewis: “How can I manage the extreme elements of this party without alienating them but at the same time preventing their actions from undermining my goals of relevance.”
Utah Republican Party Chairman Robert Axson: “How can I manage the extreme elements of this party without alienating them but at the same time prevent their actions from undermining my goals of relevance.”
Utah State Auditor John Dougall: “Should I enjoy the performance audits my office conducts on state agencies or feel bad for the victims?”
Attorney General Sean Reyes: “Where can I find more bad guys to prosecute in a very public and entertaining way?”
Deseret News Executive Editor Doug Wilks: “It is the primary mission of this newspaper to provide intelligent, insightful news and commentary to our community. So why do I keep Pignanelli and Webb?
Frank Pignanelli: “How many times can I quote the ‘Godfather’ in polite conversation?”
LaVarr Webb: “Why does the cacophony of cackling noises made by my flock of chickens on the farm sound eerily like a Republican or Democratic state convention?”
Republican LaVarr Webb is a former journalist and semi-retired small farmer and political consultant. Email: lwebb@exoro.com. Frank Pignanelli is a Salt Lake attorney, lobbyist, and political consultant who served as a Democrat in the Utah State Legislature. Email: frankp@xmission.com.
